Thursday, November 3, 2016

"Noo body knows!"

I've heard tell I have reassurance I will do something I didn't get to do 10 years ago.

People are mean to me temporarily, but it's been too long.  They think it's okay they are mean to me because I have some "reassurance" of something in it in a relationship, where I get stupid messages and emotional beatings.  Just the fact they talk to me they think is okay, but they don't get treated in a way that hurts them like it hurts me.

I guess there's just no way out, but maybe I don't have enough reassurance, sad to say.  They sacrificed me feeling good for the promise I may meet real people someday but not over technology or something.  Meanwhile, I suffer problems of my own, and I have to pave a path.  I just really dislike things like people saying flat out, "Admit it, you won't get close to anyone," they seem to mean.

Issue

Why are people overly interested in what my dad thinks of me?

Vengeance

Did you know people are taking everything in my life it seems, matching each thing up with some mistake from the past and reusing things?

What?

It's not "my fault" someone is having a breakdown.  I just don't like the bad things that get secretly said to me that they have to stand by.

Problem

It seems like the whole world turned on to selfishly and sinfully stimulate someone just because I look up to them.

No Reward

Ever since I've been spied on in private, I've been mistreated.  I was told I could not keep my college major cuz I was shy, at a prestigious college I liked.  I'm still at home with my parents, who say I need to take psych meds that make me tired, if I live with them.

I was supposedly in on this for how good I was but unrewarded.  10 years later, they've been back and now I don't "get" a prize still.  Now, that is absolutely ridiculous.  I'm not just hanging out.  The prize was supposed to be I find out that I've been spied on and get a rich and exciting life.  I am instead mistreated all the time.  My family does it, and people seem to know me and who I am and do it.  They know me cuz I think these people have been working on getting word out on me so I can't feel good in public.  People just know when they see me it seems how things are wrong with me.  It's crazy!  Maybe, it's not true.